Emporium PA

Some things I learned on my recent visit to my home town:

1.) If you're going to re-unite with your far flung family to bring your father's ashes back to the family plot, make sure you remember to bring them. Do not remember them half way to Albany and then have to go back for them.

2.) When you get to the cemetery and start looking for the family plot, try looking for it right beside where you parked the car. Do not immediately scatter to the far ends of the yard and spend an hour fruitlessly wandering about.

3.) When traveling through small towns, never order anything fancy at restaurants with names like "Capt. Morgans Fish Fry," and "Pizza...PLUS!" Eschew the fettuccine alfredo for strip steaks and hamburgers...and never ever order the fish.

4.) When passing a perfect stranger in a small town, expect to make eye contact, smile, and say "Hello!" To fellow Bostonians this may sound insane, but trust me on this one.

5.) When wandering about your old home town in a nostalgic glaze, remember the sun block. Nothing interferes with happy memories like the persistent burning of pink flesh on one side of your body.

6.) Spending time with beloved family members is always to be treasured...even if you have to grit your teeth doing it from time to time.

7.) Repeat after me: "You can't go home again."